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How to go about a Technical Product Manager Job
By Harrison Barnes of http://www.dotnetcrossing.com/
Technical product managers have it easy in the dot net framework. In the Microsoft dot net markets, the technical product managers oversee what their brilliant programmers are creating. They're basically in charge of babysitting these egotistical brainiacs. People familiar with VB dot net and ASP dot net know that in the dot net industry, the technical product managers do very little other than make sure the smart people can work together. Some might argue that you're putting out fires all day, and this is never easy. But in comparison to most jobs, you have very little pressure. You just need to make sure people in the office get along. If they don't get along, you need to take them outside and give them a spanking. So if you're gay or a woman, you might really enjoy this job. For some technical product managers, your job entails knowing all about the product your team is assembling. So you not only have to coordinate the team, you also have to give them a direction and in order to do this; you need to know the market and the product you're developing. However, if you have brilliant people in your team, you can often give them a few words of incentive and let them take over from there. Let them use their creativity to create the product while you go back to your desk and look like your working. It's the George Castanza approach to working. If you can fool them into believing you know what you're talking about and talk with authority, delegate with authority and command their best performance, then you can sit at your desk for the rest of the day and do nothing. But whenever someone walks by, just rub your forehead and look like you're stressed out about something and it looks like you're really working. This is the trick I learned from watching Seinfeld. Imagine working with a boss who always looks stressed out. You'll never confront him about things unless their urgent because you won't want to pile one more thing on his desk. If you think he has nothing to do, then you'll bother him with every little thing. So it's the trick of the trade. In order to be a manager without having to do much work, just look like you're stressed out all the time. When you walk from room to room, don't traipse around and mosey from one cubicle to the next. Don't stop and chew the fat with someone else in the office. Charge from room to room like a bull and never slow your pace. Walk with a purpose, even if you're just going to the bathroom. Make sure you have blinds in your office so you can have some privacy, and arrange your desk to meet the door head on. This way you have the cover of your desk and computer screen to hide what you're really doing. When people knock on the door or walk in, you'll have a smattering of paperwork all over the desk and you'll have a stressed out expression on your face as you're looking at your computer screen or at some paperwork on your desk. Little do they know that you're just playing Solitaire or some computer game on your screen-they can't see the screen, so how do they know you're not going over some important emails and documents? There are great lessons to be learned from George Castanza, if you're looking to land a good job and never have to do anything. For those of you who don't want responsibility, but want the respect and salary that go with that responsibility, you could stand to learn a thing or two from George as well. It's all in the little things you do. It's in the small stuff-the details that you think are often overlooked, when they're the details that matter most. If you always look busy and stressed whenever people come into your office, they'll think you're hard at work all day long. However, some might get wise to what you actually do and start asking questions. So you might need to have a few answers ready for them when that time comes. You might have a second in command who asks you casually what you've been doing all day. Or you might have someone ask you a specific about what they're doing and if you've ever encountered a problem like that. They might think you've already done all the things they're currently doing, so you'll need to know how to avoid the question or give vague answers that simply let them know that you don't have time to answer their question fully. You can always send them off to the brilliant second in command and have them ask him their questions, because you don't have time to go into it at the moment. People might start to catch on after a while that you really don't know anything or what you're talking about, unless you really do. So you might want to study what operations you're managing so you can give them solid answers when they ask. If you know your stuff and delegate everything to other people, this is another great way to do nothing all day. You've delegated all your responsibilities to other people so you can mess around all day. You can read books, listen to music, watch movies and a lot of other things during the day, on your computer screen and no one will ever know about it. Technical product managers often work with brilliant minds, so they're in the position to delegate everything off of their plate and leave nothing for themselves. Some of their programmers might ask them what they're going to do, and they'll need to make up something. But if they're good at making up tasks for themselves and if they're good at looking busy and stressed, they might be able to get away with it for years and years. |
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